Tuesday, 12 December 2006

A blended family Xmas

What about a blended family Xmas?

Is it possible to juggle together a nice, pleasant family Xmas if you live in a blended family with visitation rights? As more and more families live this parting and visiting as part of their everyday life, just trying to make it fit for everybody is hard, or is to impossible?

For example, a friend of mine remarried some years ago, (and a nice wedding it was, and what a hat I wore!) she has a daughter from her previous marriage and the father has visitation rights on holidays and extended weekends as he lives abroad, and her “new” husband has two sons that live with their mother and they are supposed to be visiting their father very other weekend, as also every other Xmas and other holidays as is customary here in Finland.

So can you plan when also taking in consideration your other family as well, as Finnish tradition is to get together with your family on Xmas Eve? It means that you visit your maternal and paternal grandparents at alternating Xmases together with your own siblings, (the aunts and uncles of your own children), and their cousins.

Guess this means Family Xmas here.

(And it can mean a lot of people if you have 7 brothers and sisters together with their spouses and children, as another good friend of mine has.)

Anyway, this other friend of mine has so far not had one Xmas that has worked out as planned!

Their children are supposed to be at “home” every other Xmas, every paired year like now 2006, both her own child and the husband’s children the same Xmas. Every other Xmas of these when the children are at home, they are to be alternating every Xmas Eve with her parents and his parents house.

So every other Xmas they are supposed to have a family-Xmas, and every other Xmas they are free, without any kids at all, like a honeymoon. Or at least they should be free and celebrating a new honeymoon. But always something has ruined their planned Xmas vacation in the sun.

Last year the daughter’s visiting got cancelled by her father, meaning cancellation of travelling plans to the sun. Or the Xmas before when the sons were on a Xmas-cruise to Sweden with their mother and did not turn up at all at their own grandmothers! How do you explain that to your old grandmother of 90 years? You just hope it is not one of her clear days and that she forgets about it fast.

So it seems that they have a Xmas tradition of not having their plans work out any Xmas.

I wonder if they do too much planning instead of go as it comes?

But I am a bit envious on her I have to confess, as I do not have any relatives to go to at Xmas here in Finland. My grandmother is dead and I would prefer to stay at home for Xmas anyway, so no harm done in the end.

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